Reuben's Journey Through Soap World
by Trey Sierra
Summary: A boy gets sucked into a world where Soap Operas are real


Reuben's Journey through Soap World

Reuben's Journey through Soap World

By Trey Sierra

Characters you will meet: (in order of appearance)

  1. Reuben- a Disney fanatic who is sucked into a world where soap operas are real.

  2. Albert- Reuben's older brother, a soap opera fanatic who is also a prolific writer.

  3. Barnabas Collins- vampire who resides at Collinwood. Leader of the Underground Resistance

  4. Maggie Horton- wife of Mickey Horton and Barnabas' right-hand woman.

  5. Holden Snyder- stepfather of Luciano Grimaldi, father of Abigail, Aaron, and Faith. Assistant for Barnabas Collins

  6. Rose D'Angelo- assistant for Maggie Horton

  7. Joseph Sorel- character only seen or heard

  8. Donna Love- character only seen or heard

  9. Luke Spencer- character only seen or heard

  10. Harley Cooper-Bauer- character only seen or heard

  11. Eve Lambert-Thornhart- character only seen or heard

  12. Mikkos Cassadine- character only seen or heard

  13. Jan Spears- character only seen or heard

  14. Mimi Lockhart- character only seen or heard

  15. Chloe Black- character only seen or heard

  16. Jo Barron- character only seen or heard

  17. Mike Karr- character only seen or heard

  18. Shelle Beast- a combination of Belle Black and Shawn-Douglas Brady

  19. Juan Charity- an evil tyrant who stole basement-ratings humor from Sitcomworld and plots to turn Soap World into his own 24/7 sitcom

  20. Charity Juan- tyrant's wife

  21. Nancy Karr- character only seen or heard

  22. Matt Cory- character only seen or heard

  23. Sean Richards- character only seen or heard

  24. Emily Davis-Richards- character only seen or heard

  25. Greenlee Smythe…Martin- character only seen or heard

  26. Heather Webber- has information that will destroy Juan Charity

  27. Lulu Spencer- helps Reuben stop Juan Charity

  28. Georgie Jones- helps Reuben stop Juan Charity

  29. Lucas Jones- helps Reuben stop Juan Charity

  30. Michael Morgan- Reuben pretends to be him when he sneaks into Juan Charity's mansion 

  31. Mariel- Albert and Reuben's older sister, a shopaholic.

Part 1:

There was a knock on the door. "Reuben, get it," Albert said from the computer. He was typing a story, and didn't feel like getting up.

"Why don't you get it?" Reuben asked.

"Because," Albert started. "I'm writing my pilot episode for my new primetime soap."

"I won't let you watch _Port Charles_," Reuben said.

"No gum," Albert threatened back. Reuben reluctantly got up and answered it.To his amazement, there was no one there. He closed the door, and went back to watching Peter Pan in the family room. There was another knock on the door. Reuben got up again, and again, there was no one.

He put the double lock on the door and went back to watch Peter Pan. But there wasn't anything on the television. He saw that the video was taken out and put back in its box. "Albert? Did you take my video?" Reuben asked out loud. There was no answer, and when Reuben went to check at the computer, Albert wasn't there. Rather than get it out again, Reuben started watching Nickelodeon. But suddenly there was a flash, and the television switched to the ABC Soap, _Port Charles_. "It's not 12:30 yet," Reuben said and kept on trying to switch it, but with no success. All he got was the soaps. Then, there was another flash, and Reuben was suddenly sucked into the television.

"Where am I?" Reuben asked himself as he walked through the dark corridors. Suddenly, a large looming shadow crept over him. He turned around, and stood face to face with a vampire. "AAAAAHHH!"

"Relax, kid," the vampire said. "I only bite bad people."

"Who…who are you?" Reuben asked, whimpering.

"I'm Barnabas," Barnabas said. "Barnabas Collins."

"That sounds familiar," Reuben said.

"Come on," Barnabas said. "We have to get out of Collinwood before the thunder strikes."

"What?" Reuben said. "Collinwood?"

"Yeah, we have to get out, otherwise that warlock Joseph Sorel will come and turn us into toads," Barnabas said. "I know a secret passage. We'll meet Maggie Horton at the other end, and she'll take us to Springfield. Collinwood is a dangerous town."

"Springfield? Collinwood?" Reuben repeated. Then it suddenly dawned on him. He was in the soap opera world. "_Dark Shadows! Guiding Light!_"

"What about shadows and lights?" Barnabas asked as he led Reuben through the passage.

"Nothing," Reuben said. "Um, I was wondering. Is there a place called Harmony anywhere near by?"

"Harmony! What a joke!" Barnabas said. "They're just nothing but washed-up actors and no-talent teens trying to make their town seem interesting with some crazy lady and a doll."

"But-" Reuben started.

"Don't get involved with those kind of people," Barnabas said. "They like taking little kids, and turning them into flashback characters."

"Wow," Reuben said. Barnabas opened a door, and Maggie led them to the limo. "We're going to Springfield?"

"Yes," Maggie said. "We have to get as far away from Collinwood. The demon Joseph Sorel will try and turn us to the dark side."

"I thought that _Star Wars_ had the dark side," Reuben said.

"Shh," Maggie said. "Sorel will know where we are if you mention the SW word!"

"Oh," Reuben said. The limo then pulled up to a restaurant. "Where are we?"

"We're in Springfield," Maggie said.

  
"But it's only been five minutes!" Reuben said. "Oh wait, travel is a lot shorter here."

"Here? What do you mean?" Barnabas said. "This world is normal."

"I meant…never mind," Reuben said. The three of them got out of the car and went into the restaurant, Company. "Hey! It's Donna Love! And Luke Spencer! And…OH MY GOSH!!!! IT'S HOLDEN AND LILY SNYDER!!!!"

"Holden and Rose," Barnabas corrected. "Lily and Damian remarried."

"This is so…weird," Reuben said, and sat down at the bar, where Harley Cooper-Bauer and Eve Lambert-Thornhart were talking.

End of Part 1

Part 2:

Reuben fainted, and woke up in the family room. "It was all a dream?" he said to himself, looking around. "It was all a dream!" he exclaimed, and started jumping for joy. Suddenly, Barnabas appeared again.

"Why are you jumping?" Barnabas asked. "There's work to be done."

"Uh-uh," Reuben said. "I was just dreaming. You're not real."

"What are you talking about?" Barnabas asked. "You fainted at Company, so we took you to a room."

"So, I wasn't dreaming? And all the rooms at Company look like this?"

"Yeah," Barnabas said. "Come on, we have to stop Jan and Mimi. They're trying to freeze the world."

"I though Mikkos Cassadine did that," Reuben said.

"Not anymore," Barnabas said. "He became good, and destroyed his weather machine."

"So why are Jan and Mimi trying to freeze the world?"

"Because Chloe Black became mayor of Corinth," Barnabas said. "Jan's mad at that, and Mimi's just following orders."

"Weird," Reuben said. Barnabas then led him to a secret passage in Company. "Where're we going?"

"We're going to meet our contact in Riverside," Barnabas said. They then drove off in a black Cadillac with Jo Barron and Mike Karr.

After some time, they arrived in Riverside, and went to Ryan's Bar to meet their contact. "Hello, Shelle," Barnabas said.

"Shelle?" Reuben repeated. Shelle turned around. "AAAAHHH!" he screamed. Shelle was a two headed person, with the faces of Belle and Shawn Brady. He then woke up again, in the family room. "It was a dream. It was a dream! Yay!" he started jumping up and down, then woke up again to find Barnabas and Maggie looking at him. "AAAAHHH!"

"Quiet!" Barnabas said. Reuben then saw he was in a dark basement.

"Wow," Reuben said. "I had a dream, in a dream, in a dream, in…is this a dream?"

"I hope not," Barnabas said. Holden and Rose then came down and brought food for Reuben.

"What are they doing here?" Reuben asked.

"They're part of the underground movement with us," Barnabas said. "Along with Maggie, me, and them, over a thousand of us are banded together."

"Why?"

"Because a dangerous tyrant and his wife took over our world, and he turned it into a B-Movie-esque sitcom," Maggie said. Everyone in the cell then heard the laugh track played faintly upstairs. "No matter what anyone says, a laugh track will play. The only way we found to avoid that is to wear a special device in our ears that make it seem like the laugh track plays when the tyrant checks up on us."

"Who is this tyrant?" Reuben asked.

"His name is…Juan Charity!" Barnabas exclaimed. "His wife is Charity Juan. The two of them banded together when their fan clubs were dissolved due to lack of interest. They left and went to Sitcom World, where they stole information from the basement files, and came back here with their thugs from South Park."

"Oh, my gosh," Reuben said. "Uh, is Juan Charity from Port Charles?"

"Yeah," Barnabas said. "The entire town was the first to be taken over, and is where Juan Charity lives, in the Quartermaine mansion. Monica's really mad about that."

"This is terrible!" Reuben cried. Suddenly, an alarm sounded. Rose immediately went to her computer, and looked at the readouts.

"Barnabas! Juan Charity and Charity Juan are here! In Springfield. They're right above us, in Company!"

"Everyone, please be calm!" Barnabas said through the ear device speaker, where only the wearer can hear it. "We're handling everything from the subsubsubsubsubsubsubsubsubsubsubsubsubsub- well you know. The basement."

End of Part 2

Part 3:

Juan Charity walked around Company with his wife and their thugs. He stopped in front of Mike and Nancy Karr. "You, and you," Juan directed. "You're coming with us."

"What did we do?" Mike asked. Juan punched him.

"Don't ask questions!" he barked. He then motioned to a thug. "Take the two of them to my laugh-mobile." The thug took the two of them away. He then started walking around. All of Company became quiet. "Everyone, continue your business." They still remained quiet, then started whispering to each other while Juan and Charity walked around.

"Juuuaaann? Can I have this ooonnnnee?" Charity asked, holding Matt Crane by his tie. "He'll go great with my collection of illegit rich kids."

"Sure," Juan said. Charity immediately went away with Matt.

"Darn, they took Matt," Barnabas whispered from the basement.

"What's so great about Matt?" Reuben asked.

"He was in charge of the Springfield resistance cell," Holden explained. Meanwhile, back upstairs, Juan was still looking around.

"I think we need a song," Juan said. He motioned to the guard to start up the kareoke. "Does anyone here know _We've got the night_?"

"No!" Barnabas said. "He's going to sing that cursed song!" Before Barnabas could do anything, Juan started singing and it was heard all over Springfield. People all stopped, and covered their ears. Back at Company, the people on the ground floor had to suffer and listen to the song. After Juan finished the song, he put the kareoke away and went around looking for more people.

"You, you, and you," he said to Sean Richards, Emily Katzenkarade-Richards, and Greenlee Smythe DuPres Martin DuPres Martin Rappaport DuPres Spencer DuPres Martin DuPres Martin Martin Vega Martin Holden-Buchanan DuPres Lavery Martin Ramsey Ramsey DuPres Lavery DuPres Ramsey DuPres Abbott DuPres Guittierez Forrester Montgomery Martin Hughes Spencer Lavery Brady DuPres DuPres Santos Spencer Benchley Ewing Ewing Martin Rappaport Holden-Buchanan Kiriakis McKinnon DuPres Abbott Santos Lavery Martin Martin DuPres DuPres Carrington-Colby Holden-Buchanan Carrington-Colby Vega Forrester Benchley Ramsey DuPres Martin Guittierez Martin Holden-Buchanan Brady Kiriakis McKinnon Hughes Montgomery Lavery DuPres Martin. Wow, 75 marriages with 20 guys! (14 with Jake Martin, 17 with Leo DuPres, 5 with Ryan Lavery, 4 with Al Holden-Buchanan and Jack Ramsey, 3 with Lucky Spencer, and 2 with: Billy Abbott, Ethan Benchley, Shawn-Douglas Brady, LB Carrington-Colby, Christopher Ewing, Rick Forrester, Chris Hughes, Philip Kiriakis, Sean McKinnon, Bryant Montgomery, Will Rappaport, Tony Santos, and Cristian Vega). If you didn't figure it out yet, she's currently married to Jake Martin. Juan turned to Greenlee. "Now, you'll be Greenlee DMDMRDSDMDMMVMH-BDLMRRDLDRDADGFMMHSLBDDSSBEEMRH-BKMDASLMMDDC-CH-BC-CVFBRDMGMH-BBKMHMLDM Charity!"

"NO!" Greenlee cried. "I don't want to marry you!"

"You will marry me!" Juan yelled. He grabbed Greenlee by the hair and dragged her out. The thugs took Sean and Emily with them. Barnabas was ready to bite someone down in the subsubsubsubsubsubsubsubsubsubsubsubsubsub- well you know, the basement.

"NOOOO!" Barnabas cried. "How could he! That no-talent screechy louse! He took the leaders of resistance cells for Sunset Beach and Pine Valley!"

"What's going to happen now?" Reuben asked.

"We have to find the key," Holden said. He started searching through some files.

"Key? Why do we need to find a key?" Reuben asked.

"Because the key will open this trunk," Holden said. "And inside the trunk is instructions on how to destroy Juan Charity and his evil coven!" Immediately, everyone in the subsubsubsubsubsubsubsubsubsubsubsubsubsub- well you know, the basement, started looking.

"How do we know that we have to search here to find this…this key here?" Reuben asked after some time. He then pushed away some sand and found a key. "Hey! I found it!" He then remembered that in soaps, time passes quickly and you can only do so much in an hour or a half-hour.

"Good job!" Barnabas said. He took the key, and opened the trunk. Inside, there was an incriminating video of Juan Charity.

"Look, a tape," Rose said. She read the title, "It's labeled: Incriminating Video of Juan Charity." She put the tape in the VCR, and the five of them (five, remember? Reuben, Barnabas, Maggie, Holden, and Rose).

"OH MY GOSH!!!" Maggie exclaimed while they watched. "It's…it's…it's…" she fainted on the spot. The other four stared wide-eyed at the screen. On the tape was Juan digitally added in to reruns of "Peyton Place".

"He…he butchered 'Peyton Place'!" Barnabas exclaimed. "No wonder this is incriminating. Any defamation of any drama is punished with death!" The tape ended with a message by Heather Webber.

"To anyone who finds this," Heather said. "Put it to good use, and send Juan Charity to live in exile in Harmony or to die of embarrassment when he's forced to sing and have everyone boo and throw rotten food at him. Everyone here at Ferncliff can't stand his singing! We need him destroyed!"

"What a good idea," Reuben said. He took the tape out and put it in a box. "We have to show this to him. Use it as blackmail." Barnabas, Holden, and Rose stared. Maggie was still fainted.

"Where did you get that idea?" Barnabas asked. "It's great!"

"I thought," Reuben said. "I thought it was common here."

"Well, if it is," Rose said. "No one says anything."

"We better make copies of this," Holden said. He took the tape, and made 400 copies with his lightspeed-hyperactive-superquick-VCR. "That's enough, right?"

End of Part 3

Part 4:

Reuben was chosen to go to Port Charles with the video. Going with him was Lulu Spencer, Georgie Jones, and Lucas Jones. They knew the ins and outs of Port Charles, and pretended to be loyal to Juan Charity just so they can get inside.

"Are you sure this will work?" Reuben asked. His hair was under a red wig, and he put on a mask, and he looked like Michael Quartermaine, but older.

"Of course," Lucas said. "We'll explain you suffered SORAS." The four entered the mansion, and went to the den, where Juan Charity was with his microphone.

"_We got the niiiiiightttt!_" Juan screeched. He then saw the three, and Reuben. "Who's he?!" Juan exclaimed.

"Relax, O master," Lulu said. "He's joined us. This is Michael Quartermaine."

"H-hello, Mr. Juan," Reuben said nervously.

"KING Juan," Juan said. "I'm royalty. My father was a great singer, and a bomb unfortunately killed my mother. But I'm great all around."

"I'm sure you are," Reuben said, regaining confidence. "I really…really really love your singing."

"Oh?" Juan asked. "Would you like to hear me sing?"

"NO!" the four all shouted.

"No," Georgie quickly explained. "You see, we're…we're throwing you a concert…a concert in Bay City. We…we want you to rest your voice, so that it's its best at the concert."

"Oh," Juan said. "Well, if you want to make my voice more perfect, go right ahead." He then left and went to the kitchen. As soon as he was gone, Reuben took out his carpetbag, and removed several videos. Lucky for him, an entire house was in the carpetbag and was filled with everything needed, including 200 copies of the tape.

"Where did you get that neat bag?" Lucas asked, gazing into it.

"Maggie said that she and Mary Poppins are old friends," Reuben said.

"Cool."

"Here," Reuben said. "Pass these out to all of Juan's thugs, and anyone that follows him. They'll immediately know Juan is evil. Then, they'll be able to help us stop Juan Charity and his wife." Immediately, Georgie, Lulu, and Lucas scattered, handing out videos to everyone. Reuben held a special version, the one that does nothing, and headed for Juan and Charity, who he saw going to their room.

"Michael!" a voice said. Reuben turned around, and saw that Greenlee was chained inside a room. Also inside was Mike and Nancy Karr, Matt Crane, Sean and Emily Richards, and several others Reuben didn't recognize.

"Greenlee!" Reuben exclaimed. He immediately took the keys from the shelf, and freed everyone. "Wait!" he cried, before they could leave. "Wear your earpieces!" He handed out extras to them, and they put them on. Okay, now you can go."

"What about you?" Matt asked. "What are you going to do?"

"I'm going to stop Juan," Reuben said. He bid everyone farewell, and went to Juan and Charity's room, which was noticeable, because the door was very large, and had a sign: Juan Charity Room. Home of the exalted perfect…blah blah blah…leader of Soap World. "What a conceited joik!" Reuben said to himself. He knocked on the door.

"Yeah?" Juan said from inside. He and Charity were mixing some herbs and spices, trying to make seven little bottles of love potion no. 9. I told her that I was a clockwork (is that right?) jinx. I've been this way since 1956…you know the song.

"King Juan?" Reuben asked. "It's Michael Quartermaine."

"Come in," Juan said. Reuben came in, took off his mask and wig, went to Juan, and slapped him. Juan was enraged, and held him by the throat. "How dare you!" Thugs came in, but when they saw Reuben, they closed the door and made sure it was locked.

"I…I…" Reuben started.

"How dare you!" Juan said again.

"Kill me," Reuben said. "And the whole world will know." Juan loosened his grip.

"What do you mean?" he asked.

"I'm wearing a camera," Reuben said. "It's in this video," he said, taking out the video. "It sees through my bag, and shows everything going on." Juan let go of Reuben, and started stomping on the tape, but it would not break. "The only way to stop the camera is to play the tape."

"Okay," Juan said.

"Oh, goody! We get to watch a movie!" Charity said. She went and got some popcorn, and curled up on the sofa next to Juan. "We get to watch a movie! We get to watch a movie!" she chanted.

"Shut up!" Juan said, and pressed play. It started out as an innocent movie, showing Peyton Place. Then, suddenly, Michael Rossi was replaced with Juan Charity! Juan grew very pale, and looked at Reuben. "Where did you get this?" Juan asked nervously.

"A trunk," Reuben said. "Sent to us by Ferncliff Mental Institution, when you were sent there."

"Please, please, don't let anyone see this!" Juan pleaded. "I'll…I'll die!"

"No, you won't," Reuben said. He fast-forwarded to Heather's message.

"I should have killed her when I had the chance," Juan grumbled. Reuben shut off the tape, and put it back in his carpetbag.

"What? No more movie?" Charity asked.

"No," Reuben said. "Sorry."

"Oh," Charity said. She then went to the bathroom to cry; she wanted to see the movie.

"Now then," Reuben started. "About this tape."

"Please, please, don't let anyone see this tape!" Juan pleaded.

End of Part 4

Part 5: Extra Long Section, the Conclusion

"Okay," Reuben said. "_I _won't let anyone see _this tape_." He gave the tape to Juan, who put it on the eraser. Reuben smiled, and patted his bag, which held the other 100 copies of the tape.

"Thank you, thank you, thank you!" Juan said. "I promise you, you will be rewarded."

"Oh, I don't need a reward," Reuben said.

"Oh, yes you do," Juan said. He rang for his guards. They came in, but instead of going to Juan, they went to Reuben. "Ah, good. You're already at the culprit. Guards, seize him!" They did nothing, but stand by Reuben. "What are you doing? Seize the kid you oaf!" Juan shouted.

"We saw the tape," a guard said. "You lowlife. You don't deserve to even be a lowlife! You are so…so…"

"So a bad singer!" the other guard said. They laughed, then Reuben turned to them.

"Guards," Reuben. "Seize this despicable creature."

"Yes sir!" the guards said happily. "Mr. Juan Charity, you are under arrest for the defamation of a classic drama, _Peyton Place_. Anything you say can and will be used against you…"

"No! NO!" Juan cried, while they read him his rights. "NO! Listen to me! I'm your king!"

"Hahahahaha!" the guards said. "Well, _king_. We'll take you to the royal squad car so we can put you in the royal jail." They laughed as they dragged Juan Charity out the door. Reuben laughed, and went to the bathroom to get Charity.

"Charity?" Reuben asked, peering in the bathroom. He found Charity, singing and dancing in the bathtub, with the shower on.

"Look! Singin' in the rain!" Charity said, and started laughing loudly. "Singin' in the rain!"

"That's nice," Reuben said. He rang for more guards, and they later dragged Charity out in a straitjacket while she continued singing. "All because she couldn't get her movie," Reuben said to himself. "How pitiful."

Later, that night, there was a large ceremony in Springfield, where the new presidents of Soap World, Barnabas Collins, Maggie Horton, and Holden and Rose Snyder, honored Reuben.

"On behalf of everyone here in Soap World," Barnabas started. "We congratulate you for stopping the tyrant Juan Charity and his wife Charity Juan from destroying our world." Maggie put a medal around his neck, Holden gave him the key to the world, and Rose gave him a kiss on the cheek.

"Reuben! Reuben!" Everyone cheered. Confetti and streamers were thrown, and Reuben sat on the roof of the limo that brought him to Springfield, waving to everyone. The day was declared a holiday, Reuben Day.

"Thank you, thank you," Reuben said as the limo drove through the streets of Springfield. After the parade was done, Reuben joined the presidents for a special dinner at Millenium.

"A toast," Barnabas said, raising his glass. "To Reuben, the one who saved Soap World."

"To Reuben," everyone toasted. Reuben lifted his glass too, and then before his very eyes it changed into a microphone!

"What?" he asked. Suddenly everything around him started changing. "NO! No! Don't leave!" He started running around, trying to find anything that wasn't changing. He then ran into a room, which was full of strange panels and buttons. At the controls was Juan Charity! "NO! No! You're supposed to be in jail!"

"I escaped," Juan said, laughing an evil laugh. "And I am canceling Soap World!" He started pushing buttons to cancel the world. "Now, my musical comedy, Juan the King, will reign in its timeslot….forever!!!" (dramatic music---wait, scratch that. It's cut by a laugh track and clown music.)

"NO! I won't let you!" Reuben cried and attacked him. They started fighting, when the computer started a countdown.

"Soap World will be canceled and be replaced with Juan the King in 30 seconds," the computer announced.

"Yes! My plan is almost complete!" Juan cried, while still fighting Reuben. Reuben then saw the reverse button that would revive Soap World and give Juan the King a cancellation before it would premiere. He struggled to reach the button, but Juan was holding him back.

"Almost there," he said, and stretched his arm. He then pushed the button down hard, and everything started changing back to Soap World.

"NOOOOOOOOO!" Juan cried. He then started changing, and when he was finished, he was a little fly. Reuben took a rolled up magazine, and hit Juan, ending his reign. The door burst open, and Barnabas, Maggie, Holden, and Rose came in.

"Reuben! You're all right!" Holden said. Everyone crowded around him. "You saved Soap World again!" They carried him out on his shoulders into the dining hall again, where everyone cheered. Suddenly, everyone disappeared, and Reuben fell. It was now empty in the hall except for him.

"Hello?" Reuben asked, walking around the messy dining hall. He then saw a large door in front of him, and a key in front of his feet. He bent down and picked it up.

"_Use the keeeey," _a voice echoed. "_Use the keeeey_." Reuben walked slowly to the door, and put the key in the lock, and turned it. The door swung open, and a blinding light flashed into the hall. Reuben shielded his eyes, and started walking through the door into the guiding light.

"Reuben. Oh Reuben," Albert said over his brother's face. He was shining his flashlight on his eyes. Reuben suddenly sprang up, awake.

"AAAAHHH!" Reuben screamed. Albert and Mariel moved away from Reuben, a little frightened. "Guys! You will never believe what happened to me!"

"What?" Mariel said.

"I dreamed I was in another world," Reuben started.

"Me too!" Albert exclaimed. "I visit Rachel, and Cass, and Joe and Paulina, and…"

"Not that!" Reuben said. "A whole different world. Where soaps were real, and there was this evil tyrant named Juan Charity, and I was helping Barnabas and Maggie, and Holden, and Rose. And Greenlee was married 75 times to 20 guys!"

"Yeah right," Albert said. "Only I have dreams like that."

"No, really," Reuben said. "I dreamed that I was in Soap World!"

"Riiighhttt," Albert and Mariel said.

"And you stopped Juan from destroying Soap World, and they made a holiday after you," Mariel said.

"Yeah!" Reuben said. "And I went undercover as Michael Quartermaine, and I had Mary Poppins' carpetbag, and…" Then, he forgot everything that happened. Reuben blinked his eyes, and saw that Mariel and Albert weren't paying attention to him. "Huh?" he said. "What was I talking about?"

"Reuben, be quiet," Mariel said. "We're trying to watch _Port Charles_."

"Yeah," Albert said. "Today Jack tells Livvie he's a vampire."

"Oh," Reuben said, and started watching with them. In the hall next to the family room, unseen by the three of them, Barnabas turned off his demomorizer, and turned on the portal.

"Bye Reuben," he said, and stepped through the portal and went back to Soap World. Maggie was waiting for him at the other end.

"He doesn't remember a thing?" Maggie asked.

"No," Barnabas said. "It's better that way."

"Everyone will miss him," Maggie said.

"Yes," Barnabas said. He then closed the portal, and the two walked out of the white room to join the others in the dining hall.

END


End file.
